The Retreat. Day 2. Of Course It's All Dairy.
I woke up this morning around 7:15 and about a minute later Tzvi was texting asking to video chat with Hallie. They were cuddling. I got ready to go and headed to breakfast around 7:45. The eating area (and no, I don't mean dining room, because it's not a dining room, it's just an area with food) is exactly like you would imagine. Big square tables.
The food was okay. There was cereal, hard boiled eggs, some rubbery scrambled eggs, granola, yogurt, muffins, bread, sunflower butter. I had some eggs, a muffin, granola and some coffee that was eh. After eating I had to clean up myself and put everything in the correct garbage. I’m sure the compost police are going to come after me but oh well.
I met a lot of new faces at breakfast. My team is national, so most people rarely see each other. It was nice to put faces to names, or at least actually speak to them in person as opposed to Zoom (video conferencing).
At 8:30 we headed outside for our morning of ‘team bonding.’ First we all introduced ourselves and gave an ice cream flavor we liked. I said cookie dough. Then we did some random activities that basically everyone knew from summer camp. I did not. I do not regret that. There was this one game where you play rock paper scissors and when you win the loser has to start cheering for you. From there we trekked to the woods. I called it a hike, even though I guess it was a road. Then we had to stand in the forest, on wet leaves. Basically what you avoid stepping in on a regular basis, you were purposely stepping in. We were divided into three groups to do even more activities! So many activities! One activity was standing around a person who sort of did trust falls, and we would push them back up. Then there was this thing that involved swinging on a rope. Yep, I swung on a rope. It was interesting. That ended around 10:30 and we went back to change into more professional clothes.
The rest of the day was filled with sessions. All interesting things. We broke for lunch around 12:30. For lunch they served salad, soup, fries and…fish sticks. Yup. Fish sticks. To adults. I guess if you like fish sticks that’s good? Thankfully someone asked the kitchen for some plain tuna, so they brought that out. So weird.
After lunch we had more sessions. Between sessions we had snack, and they gave us chocolate covered raisins. So far the snacks have been better than the meals. We ended the day around 5:30. Dinner was scheduled for 6-7ish, so I went to the gym for a short time. I figured we were going to be eating garbage tonight, and we're going out the next two nights. The large bug was still at the gym, but it had moved from the tissue box to the window, which I guess means it's not dead. I wonder where it will end up next! Probably our room.
Dinner was… underwhelming. It was the same salad and a vegetable lasagna that of course had cheese. BUT there were also string beans and garlic bread. I ended up eating a ton of string beans, lettuce, garlic bread, and rice cakes with sun butter and jam. Oh! I forgot to mention. Before we arrived they gave us strict instructions to not bring anything processed with nuts, as one of the participants in the other group that’s here at the retreat center has an airborne nut allergy. So we get here, and between sessions they have snacks for us, and what do I see but a huge bowl of mixed nuts! I was excited about the nuts, but pissed that I didn’t bring any of my nut products!
After dinner we had a bonfire with snacks. I made two smores, one regular and one with a reeses pb cup. We also had popcorn, milk duds, and twizzlers. It was all good. Someone was playing guitar. It was all just so campy and made me glad I neveer went to camp. We came back to the room. The big bug hadn't made its way yet, but there were a few ants. Isn’t that nice? Back in the room I showered and went to to bed. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.
The Retreat. Day 1. On the Train Again.
Hello everyone. I write to you from the middle of nowhere. Somewhere. In Baltimore. Outside Baltimore? I am on my staff retreat. Anyway, here’s how the day began.
We all woke up to go to the Stern’s bris at Beth Sholom. It was a nice Bris with Gotta Get a Bagel and really good hot babka. The baby’s name is Ashton Jude Law Stern. Alright fine, not Law, but Hershy is a lawyer so it actually fits. From there we went home and I got my stuff together. My parents came in the van to pick us up and we were off to the Parade, but not before picking up our Toddy’s order. Thank God we ordered in advance, the line was basically to the door. Anyway, we made the trip into the city, parked in the usual lot next to French Sole and Oren’s, and headed to 5th avenue. Tzvi kept complaining, which was no surprise. Something about the blockade, and why are we here, etc. As Rabbi Miller said this morning “Tzvi, I haven’t heard a word you said this morning. All I’ve heard is your tone, and it’s all complaining.”
then nap
The Parade was nice even though it was really cold. I was a little sad to not be working, but not that sad. Mid-Parade we took Hallie for a walk to get her to fall asleep. We stopped at Laduree because I figured I could buy Macarons and use their bathroom. Nope, no bathroom. But at least we got delicious Macarons and an overpriced box. Instead I had to go in those gross ones in Central Park. Not the worst, but not the best.
Our plan was to leave around 330, but by 3 we were so antsy, and HAFTR hadn’t even come by yet. They were so late this year. I know, at JCRC the party line is “there is no early, there is no late, there’s only celebrate,” but man, this was late. Finally they showed up, marched, and moved on, and we could leave. Dad and Tzvi got the car, mom went for shoes, and I got coffee. We met back at the car and headed down towards Penn Station.
As soon as HAFTR showed up, we were out.
We made a quick stop at Mr. Broadway where I picked up a steak Caesar salad to eat on the train and used the bathroom, which thankfully was better than Central Park, but unfortunately was also better than any bathroom I would be seeing for a while. We arrived at Penn Station, said our goodbyes, and I was off to Amtrak. The board kept saying my train was delayed, then on time, then delayed, then on time. I was smart this time, positioning myself in a good place to get on line to boarding. Last week going to DC I didn’t know what was flying (training?) and ended up boarding too late to get a window seat, so I wasn’t letting that happen again. The ride was fine. I finished watching season 2 of 13 Reasons Why. I ate my salad. I missed this at home:
We arrived in Baltimore around 8. I had to maneuver my massive suitcase in a bathroom and then had to pee with it outside the stall. Then I waited for my Uber, realized I had no chocolate on me for the week and went to buy a dove bar in the station. The cashier was a little odd, but who isn’t. On the app it said my Uber driver was known for his ‘good conversation.’ Well that’s what you want to see before getting in a cab. He was good though. I video chatted with Hallie. She said Shema twice and was very cute.
When we got to the destination we couldn’t really figure out where to go so we were driving on these one lane roads in the middle of fields. Finally we saw a sign that said “Pearlstone Retreat” and we followed the signs to the main house. Poor driver. When we pulled up I saw two colleagues so I knew I was in the right place. I went into the main house and found that there was no one to check me in. Instead, my keys were in a little basket, with the room assignments posted on a paper above it. For a moment I thought back to the Amsterdam Waldorf where they gave us a choice of four different scents to be sprayed nightly during turndown.
I saw that I’m rooming with the program coordinator for the department. I think she’s younger than I am, religious, and very nice. I lugged my luggage to the room and when I walked in I was greeted by stale humid air. I didn’t recall that being one of the scent options at check in.
I was also greeted by a goodie bag with some snacks and a Hershey’s kiss. That was nice.
My roommate, Eliana, had been here, but was gone for now. The first thing I did was check out the air situation. The thermostat says to use the machine by the window, but nothing would turn on. For a while I was unpacking with the windows and door open. I asked Eliana but she didn’t know. Finally I walked to the main building and found the one staff member on duty. He is Russian and his name is Gee. Gee looked on the computer. He explained that all of the air units are controlled by the computer. Apparently the entire air for my building was turned off because we aren’t officially starting programming until tomorrow morning. He turned it on and walked me back to my room to make sure it was working. Thank Gee it was working. Gee’s on until midnight and I took his cell phone number in case of emergency.
With air blowing free I finished unpacking. The room is basically a room that you would stay in as a teenager for a school overnight. It does NOT bring back good memories. In fact, it brings back pretty bad memories. People actually get MARRIED here. Does it qualify as a destination wedding if it’s not really a destination? It just feels like there are bugs. There aren’t, at least I haven’t seen in this room, but oy.
After I was unpacked I decided to check out the gym. That is where I saw a big bug. I think it was dead, but who knows. Then I came back, showered, and here I am. Eliana texted me saying she might stay by a friend in Baltimore tonight and come in tomorrow morning, so that’s nice for me. I’m in bed now. There are two flat pillows and a thin blanket.
I’ll be here until Thursday. Wish me luck.
Avery and Gabs' Wedding
Click to read our first post on this new blog - a brief overview of Avery and Gabs’ beautiful wedding. Mazal Tov!
Mazal tov Avery and Gabs!
And now a few photos and thoughts on the wedding from our perspectives.
The day started off well enough. Cinderella arrived at the ball and everyone was happy.
Especially Pop Pop, who was glad that this day had finally come and there was no more planning to listen to people talk about.
Of course Steph's dress needed to be sewed just before the chupah, at which point she decided to just flash everyone.
Hallie napped during a lot of the schmorg, until she woke up and had a total breakdown, which is why we have no pictures of, and completely missed, the tisch. She didn't seem like she was feeling great. We figured she had some kind of sickness so we gave her motrin. Oy.
Hallie was supposed to walk down the aisle herself, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. Luckily the band was able to straighten out the music, though it wouldve been pretty funny if we would have walked down to Under the Sea.
First down the aisle was Babi, who walked to Hallelujah, which was the song Tzvi had wanted to walk to. Ironically, Babi also walked down the aisle while Tzvi's song choice was playing at our wedding. I guess Babi always walks on Tzvi's music.
Once we got under the chuppah, Hallie dumped all of her flower pedals on the floor, said "Mommy pick it up," and then announced, "I made a doodie."
Despite the headphones made for a shooting range, Hallie still felt it was "too loud mama."
Steph couldn't find a fork, so she ate steak on a stick. Still unclear why she had a stick.
As the night went on, they turned on the Studio 54 disco lighting.
It was a long day for everyone.
Look who's so happy... and has a 103 fever.