Chapter 1. I Guess That’s Los Angeles For You. Part I.
Welcome to our end of summer trip to Los Angeles!
We left on a Friday morning. It’s interesting (only to me and no one else) that for both of our trips this summer we left on a Friday. Anyway, our flight was at 915am, so we called our driver for 715am and were actually ready on time. We got to the airport and when we got to the Mosaic counter I saw the same woman who had checked us in for St Barth and yelled at us that we were cutting it too close. I said “hi, you’re the one who told us not to come too late!” She actually remembered me, and then I told her we were early today and she was very nice.
Anyway, we went through security really quickly, picked up our mobile order Starbucks, bought some snacks, got on the plane and we were off. The plane was probably a third empty and Tzvi and Hadar had an extra seat in their row. I have to say the flight was very uneventful and the girls did fabulously. I couldn’t have asked for a better flying experience. Thanks JetBlue.
Before take off Tzvi realized we never booked a car to take us from the airport in LA to the hotel, so he called his mother and asked her to text her Jewish guy who usually takes her to the airport to try to book us something. During the flight she told us it was booked and when she told Tzvi the price he thought, “wow, that’s expensive, but I guess that’s Los Angeles for you.” Well, we step out of the terminal to wait for our driver and get a text message “I am in a white Mercedes Sprinter van.” If you don’t know, a Sprinter is a huge van. We figured this was all that Sherry could book on such short notice. Well, it pulls up and it’s not just a van, it’s a party bus. It has seats that face backward, benches on the sides, a table with snacks, colorful led lighting and twinkling star lighting on the ceiling. We couldn’t even see the driver without lowering a partition. The kids were so excited. We were all so excited. I told Tzvi not even to tell me what it cost because I just don’t want to know. The ride was about 35 minutes and it was quite fun.
We pulled up at the Beverly Hills Marriott and checked in. I was literally walking away with the keys when Tzvi said to me, ‘you confirmed the rooms are connecting, right?’ So I went back to the counter and the guy was like, “oh no, they’re not, but don’t worry, they’re right next to each other.” Well that wasn’t going to work. We’re not sure what happened here. We told them that we called to confirm this so we don’t understand how this could happen, but the truth is it’s very possible that we actually forgot to call to confirm this. Whoops. After a whole back and forth finally we decided to pay an extra $50 to get a suite for the night so we could all fit in one room. It would have a bedroom for the two of us, a sofa bed for the girls and a rollaway bed for Hadar, which was okay, except there was only one bathroom. They said they could move us into connecting rooms the next day, so it would just be for one night.
The room wasn’t ready so we got an Uber and went to the Grove. We started at the Farmer’s Market where we each got different food for lunch. Madeleine and Hadar had pasta, Hallie had pizza, Tzvi had Mexican and I had a tuna sandwich. They were all delicious. Then we got a pickle flight of five different pickle varieties – bread and butter, half sour, honey mustard, horseradish, and kosher dill. They were all good. I think in this one trip to the Farmer’s Market we tasted more things than in all of the times I’ve been there combined. We walked around the mall at the Grove, bought some stuff for Hallie at Zara, then went to a coffee place Rachel recommended called La La Land coffee. It seems to have been designed for people to post on Instagram – yellow and white with cute signs. It was nice, but it wasn’t really coffee. It was basically just a milkshake. It was delicious but it was dessert. Then we got Hadar and the girls ice cream before calling an Uber back to the hotel.
We got ready for Shabbos and then Rachel picked us up and took us to her apartment. We had a really nice Shabbos dinner in their apartment. Kira and the girls played so nicely and we had a really good Shabbos dinner. I forgot to mention my parents are here too because they all got back from an Alaskan cruise this morning. Everyone was so tired.
We left and walked back to the hotel and passed out. Next thing I knew it was 515am and we were awake, which I knew would happen. I was hoping to at least make it to 6am, but oh well. We laid in bed for a while and then packed up our suitcases. Eventually we got dressed and went downstairs to the lobby. We were going to head to shul but the girls were hungry so we decided to just eat breakfast at the lobby restaurant, which was a little annoying because you had to pay $30 for a sub par buffet. Actually, the waffle was one of the best liege waffles I’ve ever tasted, so I can’t really complain.
I should mention there are a ton of Jews in this hotel (being one of a few places to stay in Pico-Robertson and walking distance to 35 different shuls). Tzvi was walking to breakfast in the lobby and wasn’t wearing his kippa, and a woman still stopped him to ask how to get to the Young Israel. Another woman stopped me and said, “Hi how are you doing?” I was like, “do I know you?” and she said, “we met last night.” I was like “no, we did not meet last night.”
After breakfast we walked to Beth Jacob. They had several guards outside with bullet proof vests and handguns visibly holstered. They checked our bags and then wanded Tzvi. Very different from the guys in polo shirts outside Beth Sholom, but I guess we’re in a real city here. Austin and Rachel daven at the young professionals minyan. There were no seats so I sat outside with the girls while they played on the playground, which is huge and really nice. We saw Kira come out with groups, so the girls enjoyed that. Then once shul ended we went to kiddush. It was nice, and the cholent was really good, but the weird thing was there was a man with a parrot on his shoulder that kept crapping on him. I guess that’s Los Angeles for you.
After shul we walked to Rachel’s apartment for lunch. A good time was had by all. After lunch we wall walked back to the hotel where Hallie and Madeleine swam and we all hung at the pool. It was an interesting mix of people. There were a lot of Jews – French and Israelis with kids who were running around like animals. At one point Tzvi and Madeleine were in the hot tub and six kids piled in with a giant inflatable crocodile. They were basically on top of Tzvi and he had to push them away. At the other end of the spectrum there was a woman in a thong with hair all the way down to her waist.
When it got a bit later we went back to our new rooms, which are connecting and thankfully each has its own bathroom. There’s a giant billboard of Clive Owen right outside the window this room, so it kind of feels like we have Clive Owen in our room. I guess that’s Los Angeles for you. We showered and waited for Shabbos to end.
Saint Barth. Day 6. Bon Voyage.
We woke up early, again. Was this even a vacation?
We went down for our last breakfast, which was sad. We decided to have all the things today. Tzvi had eggs Florentine, which he said was delicious but basically looked like a pot of cheese with some runny eggs. They also brought us a Nutella Crepe that spelled out Bon Voyage. Way to rub it in. We also packed up some pastries to go.
We said our goodbyes and were on the road by 9:10am. 20 minutes later we were on line to check in at Winair. Before saying goodbye, our driver from the hotel gave each of us a little pouch with an inflatable neck pillow, ear plugs and a sleep mask. They really did a great job with the little extra touches.
Surprise surprise, the airport check-in was another indoor-outdoor situation. Even on your way out you can’t just enter a building with air conditioning. It’s basically one long corridor with a few check in counters. After a few minutes we were done checking in, so we went to check out the “shopping” which was really two stores manned by the same woman who was walking back and forth. There was a waiting area next to the shopping so we walked over there. It was a little smelly and that’s when I noticed a man sitting and reading picking at his toenails. It was so disgusting. At that point Tzvi called and told us to come to immigration, meaning come downstairs to the little booth manned by a Russian man, to get our passports stamped. We opened the door and were greeted by the wonderful whoosh of cold air. Air conditioning! Huzzah!
We waited at the gate watching planes take off until it was our time to board. The one nice thing was that we were actually able to watch as they wheeled out the bags and put both of our bags put onto the plane. We were leaving out of gate 3, which was just a door that was 5 feet away from gate 2, which, you guessed it, was right next to gate 1. They opened the door, lined us up, and led us to our plane.
This plane looked a bit newer that the plane we flew in on, but don’t worry, there was still no air conditioning. This time we got the front row so I basically flew the plane with the pilots. The flight was uneventful.
After landing in St. Maarten we had to go through passport control and then make that same shlep outdoors to walk to departures and check in for our JetBlue flight. That was easy. Though, when we got our passports back, I noticed the three of them got a stamp on their boarding pass that said “cleared” and mine just said SSSS. We didn’t know what SSSS meant. Some of us thought it meant super sexy special security. Whatever it meant, it wasn’t going to be good.
We made it through security and then killed time until our flight. Just as our flight was about to board, I heard my name called on the loudspeaker. I will say kudos to the TSA man because he pronounced Feit correctly! Anyway, apparently I was in fact selected for super special security screening, but it wasn’t very sexy. So while everyone else got to board, I had to wait for a woman to pat me down and go through my carry on. Spoiler alert, I was allowed on the plane.
Tzvi was panicking because God forbid I get on late and there isn’t overhead space for my bag. He almost got into an altercation with a Russian man who was trying to take my space with his briefcase. Don’t worry, we won.
The flight was overall ok, but there was a period with some bad turbulence. That was not so fun. Ironically our 10 minute flight on the Lego plane was less turbulent. We were in row 1, so once we landed Tzvi was the first off the plane, which for some reason gives him a thrill.
And now we’re back. I know that it may not have always sounded like it from these writings, but it was a great trip. Saint Barth really is a magical little island, and despite the heat, we had an amazing time.
Until next time…
Saint Barth. Day 5. I'm On a Boat.
We woke up early, too early, on Tuesday morning for our last full day.
Since we’d moved the boat to today, we had to be at the port (about 20 minutes away) by 9am. This meant being at breakfast before 8am if we wanted to have time for a full breakfast. It was rough, but we did it. Breakfast was delicious as usual. Today we decided to try the waffle, so we asked for one waffle. They brought us four. We told them that was too much, though we still ate three of them. Mendy asked for two eggs, and they brought four plates of two eggs. Maybe it was too early for them too.
We made it to Masterski Pilou, the boat company, by 9am but couldn’t find anywhere to park. The people there were so nice, they took our car and parked for us. We boarded our boat and we were off. The boat is a 35 foot speedboat. Our captain was named Marion. The minute Hindel walked on the boat she was nauseous, but we knew that was coming. The rest of the trip was spent wavering between laughing at her and sympathizing with her.
We started by sailing up to Colombier Beach, which is reachable only by boat or by a 30 minute hike, and after everyone almost died on the 5 minute hike on Sunday, we were definitely not going to attempt that. The beach was beautiful and very secluded. Most of the land around the beach was originally owned by David Rockefeller (grandson of John Rockefeller), who purchased it in the 1950s for $32,500. In 2023 a commodities trader from Texas bought the property for $136 million. Marion stopped the boat a little way from the shore and we all jumped off into the ocean. She gave us flippers and snorkel masks, but we didn’t really see any sea life.
We swam ashore and then walked along the beach for a few minutes before swimming back to the boat. It was really nice. Back on the boat we opened a bottle of wine that Tzvi had brought. It was just really nice to sail and sip cold wine. They also had a speaker so we played a nice mix of Taylor Swift and Eyal Golan. It was hot and there was no respite from the sun, but it was still really relaxing and pleasant.
From there we sailed around the island to Shell Beach. We hopped off the boat and snorkeled a bit and this time we actually saw some fish and a sea turtle. We made it to shore, which is entirely covered in shells. It was beautiful, but we didn’t really want to walk on it, so once we had enough energy we swam back to the boat.
From there we sailed around a bit more to Gouverneur beach, another beautiful beach. The swim was a bit tougher and we were all exhausted by the time we got to the shore. We laid there for a few minutes, but then it was time to go. Tzvi was so tired swimming back that he just held onto my leg and had me pull him in.
We sailed back to the port and said goodbye to Marion. It was a really phenomenal experience and I would definitely do it again.
We were all starving so we had lunch in town at a little café called Café Arawak. Of course it was outdoors, but at least it was in the shade. I had an Impossible Burger and Tzvi had a tuna poke bowl. We also had iced coffees that were delicious. After lunch we walked around a bit, but most of the stores were closed for siesta. We did end up buying a poster from a store that we had seen yesterday. While we were in the store we saw a “teen tour” travel camp. I want to know what teen tour travels to St. Barths. One of the kids was trying to return an explicit t-shirt because his counselor wouldn’t let him wear it, but the store clerk wasn’t letting him.
After that we drove back to the hotel and went straight to the beach. We were all so exhausted, except for Tzvi who decided this was the perfect time to hike up to the top of the hill that sits between our hotel’s two beaches. Basically it was now or never and he said he’d regret not doing the climb. [Tzvi: It was actually pretty easy and only took about five minutes to get up there. I did it in flip flops. The view was incredible at the top and I’m very glad I didn’t miss it.]
We decided to go for one last swim in the ocean (except for Hindel, who passed out at the beach from a mixture of heat exhaustion and nausea). The water was just so warm, and once we got far enough out it was even clear and blue. We must have seen two or three different sea turtles. We were kind of chasing them and trying to get close to them, and at once point Tzvi basically stepped on one (don’t worry, it wasn’t hard and he didn’t hurt it… we don’t think). It was just incredible to basically be swimming with the turtles and to be so close to them. They’re huge and incredible. (TWSS)
After the beach we decided to swim in the pool, which we hadn’t done yet on this trip. We discovered that the pool has this separate area, that looks like it should be a hot tub, but isn’t hot, and has the most powerful jets I’ve ever seen in a pool. They felt really nice on our bug bites.
By this time Hindel woke up and thought we’d either abandoned her or died in the ocean. Then we all went back to our rooms to get ready for dinner and do some packing.
Tzvi and I were ready early so we headed back down to the beach around 730 and took seats at the bar for a pre-dinner drink. The bartender looked like he was 12, but was actually 20 (which is still very young). He was clearly still training and said he’d only been on the island for two months. He was very good though. Tzvi had a mai tai and I had a mojito. Both were delicious. They also gave us delicious roasted cashews and the biggest olives you’ve ever seen. Then at some point they brought us a little plate with mini sun dried tomato sandwiches and little burrata cups. Tzvi ate all of it and said it was very good.
For dinner we went to Sella, which I think was in Gustavia but wasn’t in the main part of town. It felt like we were behind the very tiny industrial area, right on the water. Of course there was no AC, but don’t worry, there were ceiling fans and a light breeze coming off the water into the open walls of the restaurant.
Sella is a restaurant of Israeli chef Asaf Granit. He has restaurants all over the world and several in Israel (including Machne Yehuda which for a while was known as being the best restaurant in Israel but isn’t kosher so we’ve never been there). He also has a restaurant in Paris, which was the first Israeli restaurant in France to receive a Michelin star.
The restaurant wasn’t too crowded, I guess because it was a Tuesday night. As we walked in we passed a table of four young girls all speaking Hebrew. They were right next to the DJ and kept asking him to play Israeli music.
We started with cocktails, which were pretty good and most of them came on dishes shaped like hands. To start we shared challah with matbucha, focaccia with creme fraiche and schug, and something called the “Plate for the Brave” which was a bunch of spicy things including habanero butter, green chili slices, pickled chili and fried chilies. We also had a Fattoush salad with arugula, tomatoes, pink radish, cucumber, labneh, feta and these incredible giant croutons. The others also shared a tuna sashimi and a “polenta machneyehuda” with mushrooms, asparagus and parmesan cheese. For mains we got the Persian fish, which I think was wahoo, and a very creamy “risotto ptitim.” I basically just ate a bunch of vegetables. We got sides of grilled zucchini, mixed vegetables and roasted cauliflower.
Basically I just ate a lot of vegetables, but really the atmosphere was what made the meal great. At one point the Israeli table requested Am Yisrael Chai, so we had a nice little dance party. Then I asked them to play some Omer Adam. The other tables in the restaurant were a little confused, but I think they enjoyed the vibes. We couldn’t figure out if there were any actual Israelis or Jews working in the restaurant. Everyone seemed French, but that doenst mean they weren’t Israelis. One of the guys seemed to be clapping and singing during Am Yisrael Chai, so I’m assuming he was at least Jewish.
For dessert we had the “sa’ida sultana” which was a Turkish style tiramisu with black coffee-tonka ice cream, and fistuk with chocolate grenache, pistachio, raspberry confit, sumac ice cream and kadaïf tuile.
It was a really fun night, and we were all so exhausted by the end. Tomorrow we need to wake up early to go to the airport.
Saint Barth. Day 4. Rainy Days and Mondays.
Monday morning we opened the blinds to find gray skies and rain.
It was a rainy day, foggy and disgusting. Immediately we got nervous because the plan for the day was to spend the morning at the pool, and then spend the afternoon on a boat. We called the concierge and they said they didn’t know yet if the boat would be going out and how the weather would be in the afternoon. She said she would get back to us by 1130 (the boat was supposed to be at 1pm), so we went to breakfast.
I decided I would go to the gym while we waited to see what the story would be with the boat. Well, while I was on my way to the gym, everyone else kind of decided that even if it wasn't raining, it wasn't worth doing the boat in gross weather so we should push the boat off to the next day and go into town to shop today. So I had to come back change out of my gym clothes and into regular clothes. I should mention that the entire time Tzvi was wavering over his decision and didn’t stop talking about if he had made the right choice. As you can imagine it was quite pleasant to listen to.
We drove to Gustavia, the only town on the island. It was basically some high end shopping (Prada, Dior, Hermes), mixed with medium-high-end shopping, local shops and souvenir stores. Tzvi bought a relatively expensive t-shirt. At one point we went into a store called Maison Pelican, which was basically an eclectic antique store that had lots of expensive art and pottery. Mendy noticed that the man working in the store was wearing a Jewish star and a Nova bracelet, so of course I had to bagel him. He said he was from France, and that there are basically 30 Jews on the Island. He said the island is fine for Jews and no one bothers him, “and if they would bother me, I wouldn’t care.” Good for you Mr. Pelican.
By one o’clock the stores started closing for their midday siesta (or whatever you call it in France). By then we were just hot and decided to go back to the hotel for lunch. We opted to eat “inside” at the restaurant, rather than at our seats. They started us with a delicious focaccia shaped like a pretzel and olive oil with zahtar. I had a falafel bowl, which was delicious. It was like a big salad that I added felafel to and it was so good. Tzvi had a mahi mahi burger that he really liked. Mendy had a pizza that was huge. It was a nice meal, but it was so hot.
For dessert they came around with a tray of all of the desserts. They were all stunning and we wanted to eat all of them, but we settled on a strawberry vanilla cream thing. That was delicious. I regret not getting the vanilla bean dessert that was shaped like a bean, but I don’t think I could have actually eaten it at that point.
After that we sat by the beach for a while. It was still a little cloudy, but the weather was pretty nice. I don’t know if it would’ve been windy and rough on the boat though. Tzvi and Mendy went out and swam in the ocean for a while and saw a bunch of turtles, so that was cool.
I left the beach and headed to the gym. Eventually everyone came and met me there. Hindel did yoga while Tzvi and Mendy swam in the spa pool. Finally we left the spa and went back to the room get ready for dinner.
Dinner tonight was at Bonito, another “festive” restaurant (as the hotel told us). It's a beautiful restaurant. It was really pretty and everything was white and blue, but it was also basically outdoors and it was so hot. I just don’t get it. It’s 80 degrees at night. Close the windows and turn on the air.
Dinner was very good, but so slow. We started with cocktails. This place is famous for making a cocktail that comes in a bathtub with a rubber duck. They call it “Sex in the Bath” and it’s made with vanilla vodka, passion fruit shrub and “secret foam.” I didn’t ask what was in the foam. It was actually a super cute drink and pretty tasty. Mendy and I both got that one, so, if you’re keeping track at home, so far on this trip Hindel has drank like a porn star and Mendy has had sex in the bath.
For starters the others had wahoo ceviche again, and I had a vegetarian ceviche, which was basically a bunch of veggies but actually pretty good. For the main I ordered the tuna, but they didn’t want to cook it for me. They said if they cook it through then people always send it back, so I had to promise the waitress I wouldn’t send mine back. It still came basically raw, but the parts I ate were very tasty. We also had these delicious yucca fries that were so good.
For dessert we had this rum raisin souffle thing, which was so weird, and a hazelnut thing also.
After dinner we drove our little Volkswagen up and down the steep hills of the island, and all we had to say was WAHOOOOO.
Good day.
Saint Barth. Day 3. Beautiful but Hot.
Today we got up and once again, our “goal” was to leave for breakfast by 930, which I think we hit.
We went to breakfast with the intention of not eating as much as yesterday, and I think we did pretty well. They had some different pastries today. They had one swirly one with some raisins, which I liked but no one else did. They also had almond croissants. I had an omelet with veggies. We all thoroughly enjoyed our breakfast.
Then we went back to the room, lotioned up and got our rental car. Today is the first of the few days we’ll have our rental car to drive around the island. It’s a Volkswagen convertible, but it’s way too hot to keep the top open. I don’t think I mentioned that each taxi into town is about 60 euro each way, so it really is more economical to have the car. Also, the roads are tiny and the whole island is so hilly. It’s kind of like driving in a video game. Tzvi said it was some of the most fun driving he’s ever done. I’m glad he had fun while those of us in the back were saying shema at every turn.
Anyway, the plan for the day was to visit one of the beaches on the island. On our way out of the hotel they gave us chairs and umbrellas and towels and a cold bag with waters. They really set you up nicely. There was also the option to buy a picnic for 70 euro per person, but we didn’t do that. Instead, our first stop was Monoprix, which is a local supermarket. It was fun and we saw they had snacks from Le Grande Épicerie, which is one of the big markets in Paris that we went to when we were there. They also had Haagen Dazs and Ben and Jerrys. We bought some snacks, and then went down the road to Le Petite Colombe, a bakery, where we got a baguette and some other pastries.
This is where it turned. Did I mention I don’t enjoy being hot? We got to the beach around a quarter to twelve. We parked and then had to hike, uphill, on burning sand and rocks, in the brutal heat to get to the beach. [Tzvi: It wasn’t a hike. It was a hill, and it was only five minutes.] It was a hard five minutes, and that basically set the tone for me for the day.
We finally made it to Anse de Grand Saline, or Saline beach. It’s called that because it’s right next to the Grand Saline, which is the salt marsh. The beach is known as being one of the nicest on the island, and really one of the nicest beaches in the Caribbean, but it was basically completely empty (I guess because the whole island isn’t that crowded and you have to hike to get there). There were only a few other people when we got there, and some came and went throughout the day, but it was really pretty secluded. We tried to set up our umbrellas, but it was just so windy and we couldn’t really do it right, so they kept blowing away. It was so brutally hot. I don’t know how to emphasize just how hot it was. Hindel and I were both saying we each remembered when we were in Pompei and it was so hot you wanted to die. It was that hot.
We went in the water and swam for a while. It really was one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever been, and the water was some of the best I’ve ever swam in. But again, it was so hot I wanted to die. And then the umbrella kept blowing away and Tzvi had to chase after it. I just ended up sitting there and holding the umbrella. It was so hot I just couldn’t move. Hindel fell asleep clutching her umbrella. It would have been hilarious if we weren’t so miserably hot. It was beautiful, and also unbearable at the same time. Tzvi also brought a bottle of champagne, which was nice but it got warm quickly and it was too hot to enjoy it.
Finally, three hours had passed so we hiked back to the car, which was so hot. But then we got in the car and turned on the air, and it was blissful.
We went back to the hotel and went to the beach. I ordered a mudslide but the bartender didn’t really know what he was doing so it ended up being like a frothy white Russian. Also, because we were too hot to actually eat at the beach, we ate our bread and jam and snacks at the hotel beach. It was a good snack.
We sat at the beach for a while, swam a bit more, read, and relaxed. Then we went back to our rooms and got ready for dinner.
Dinner tonight was at Tamarin, which was just totally outdoors. It was a little bit like a jungle, with lots of lush vegetation all around us. It reminded me a little of Disney, or something Disney would do. The whole restaurant seems to be centered around this beautiful huge Tamarin tree right at the entrance. It was all beautiful, but again, hot. That seemed to be the theme of the day.
The food was all delicious. The bread was really good and they gave us olive oil and salt. The salt was similar to the salt we’ve been getting in every restaurant – it’s fleur de sel, so it’s not really flaky, but more chunky and almost wet (I realize chunky and wet doesn’t sound delicious, but it was). We had some really tasty pastas, some good veggies, and the others all shared a full fish that was fileted tableside. Of course Tzvi dissected the head. [Tzvi: Cheek meat is the best. We also shared a wahoo carpaccio, which was both delicious and fun to say.]
For dessert we shared four different dishes – one was like a jam, sour cream situation that I didn’t love, but there was a very good hazelnut dessert, and Tzvi had mango sorbet that he loved. It was a very good restaurant and everything just tasted very fresh.
Good day. Exhausting day. Hot day.
Saint Barth. Day 2. Tired On the Dance Floor.
Today our goal was to get out of the room at 930, which we did.
I’m not quite sure why we have a “goal” on vacation, but what am I but a willing participant in this carefully planned extravaganza. We headed to breakfast, which was included with our room.
Do you know why they only eat one egg for breakfast in France? Because in France, one egg is an oeuf. That joke doesn’t really work in writing, but try sounding it out. Anyway, we certainly ate more than one egg. You get the buffet, but also get to order whatever you want from the menu. One great thing about being on a French island is French food, specifically French pastries. The buffet was full of fresh breads, croissants, pain au chocolate, cinnamon buns and madeleines. There was also a beautiful display of fresh fruit, yogurts, nuts, jams, granola, cheeses and lox. It was all so delicious. Even the coffee was good.
(photos are from other days of the trip)
Our waitress for the morning was Amel. She was very nice and kept bringing us coffees. Also, she called Tzvi “Arry” which sounds so much nicer than Harry. Then, when we told her we couldn’t sign the check she too said “ah, Shabbat” and then told us to wait so she could bring us a box of pastries to take with us for shabbat. And then when we left she said “Shabbat shalom.”
After that we just hung out at the beach all day. It was a beautiful day – hot and sunny. At one point we went out into the lagoon for a swim. St Barth is known for having some of the most beautiful beaches and crystal clear water. The issue is, the area right in front of us, where you enter the lagoon, is kind of gross and has a lot of seaweed growing out of the ground (so while the water is clear, it looks green), but once you get a bit farther out the water becomes clear blue and you get to the soft sand. I think we must have been out there for at least an hour. We made it all the way across the lagoon, two hotels away. We saw all kinds of wildlife – turtles, fish, topless women and even a little shark (which didn’t seem interested in us and swam away). Then we walked along the beach until we got back to our hotel.
For lunch we got food at the beach. Tzvi had a Caesar salad and I made up my own salad. Both were good. Hindel and Mendy opted not to eat because they were “full from breakfast.” I guess that’s a thing. Then around 330 we headed to the spa and hung out at the spa pool for a while. Then we showered at the spa and used the sauna until it was time for our 430 massages. We had both booked 90 minute couples’ massages (with our respective spouses). Our massages were phenomenal.
Then we went back to our rooms and got ready to go out. Shabbos ended by 730 but we didn’t leave for dinner until 9.
Dinner tonight was at Le Petite Plage. Thankfully this place was indoors and had good air conditioning. It’s a very clubby place, the floor was covered in sand, and there was really loud music, and the food was actually fantastic. The chef is Eric Frechon, who is apparently a famous Michelin starred French chef.
We shared a bunch of dishes, but my favorite was the fried broccoli in curry sauce. It was so good we ended up getting two of them. The cocktails were also very good. Tzvi ordered a cheese cocktail. There is no other way to describe it, but it came with a piece of cheese on top. [Tzvi: It was some kind of mezcal negroni that was clarified with blue cheese. It was actually delicious and really unique.]. Mendy and I got drinks that came in a pineapple cup with a glow light, which is clearly the more appropriate choice. Hindel had a drink called “Drink Like a Porn Star.”
Every time someone ordered the magnum bottle of champagne they made a big show out of it and came through with a parade and big signs. Every time they came through they had changed outfits into a different theme (love, baseball, glitter). The same couple kept ordering the champagne, which I think was like $1000 a bottle. He looked to be about 70. She looked to be around half that.
The weakest part of the meal was the desserts, which were just eh. Also, the table next to ours was a father with two kids that appeared to be late teens, and a young boy probably around ten. The little boy fell asleep by 10pm and then slept for the whole meal. At some point the teens left but the father just kept ordering more drinks for himself, and then he would get up to get closer to the DJ and would leave the kid alone sleeping. It was weird.
Dinner was great, but I have to mention that it was expensive. St Barth is known for being an expensive island, and before we came we read about it and spoke to people and knew it would be expensive. As much as we were warned, I think we were still surprised to actually see how expensive things were. Also, because it’s France they don’t automatically give you water in restaurants, so we ended up spending 30 to 40 euro a night just on bottled water.
Eventually we finished our meal and danced for a bit. The DJ was great and they had a guy playing saxophone live. By the time midnight hit Hindel and I got up on a table, which is a thing they do here, but we were all so tired. By 1230 we got a taxi and went back to the hotel. I guess we’re old now. I’d say we could sleep in tomorrow, but apparently that’s not a thing on this trip either.
Great day.
Saint Barth. Day 1. Bonjour and Bienvenue.
Here we go!
This year we opted to take our no-kids vacation in St. Barth for five nights. Five nights was Tzvi’s choice, not mine, because he said any less wouldn’t be enough. If you remember last year we went to Bermuda for two nights and that was pretty rough. So five nights it is, and this year we’re traveling with our good friends Hindel and Mendy Jesselson. May the odds be ever in their favor.
We left on Friday. Thursday night we had to deal with the cries of our children and then we realized Madeleine was getting a cold. But Friday we got up at 5:45 and we were off and of course the kids were up to say goodbye, tears and all.
We got to the airport and it was packed but thankfully because of our Mosaic status we got right in. When we got to check in, the woman was very stern and told us we needed to be checked in one hour before the flight. She was very upset because there was only one hour and nine minutes until the flight, which I guess is cutting it close, but we had mosaic and precheck, so I felt like we’d done a great job. When we were done we still had four minutes to spare. She had the same birthday as Mendy so by the end she was more friendly, but she said don’t do it again. Check in was easy otherwise, the flight was fine and we landed in St. Maarten, where we had to connect to our next flight to St Barth.
In St. Maarten we had to get off the plane, walk down the steps onto the runway, take a little bus, get on a line, go through passport control, collect our luggage, exit the terminal and then walk all the way around for a good seven minutes to arrive at check in for our next flight. It was so hot. We could’ve paid $100/person extra for someone to do this for us, but being the fiscally responsible people we are, we decided to do it ourselves. So we made it, albeit hot and sweaty. Then we had to wait to check in at Winair. Have you heard of that airline? Probably not.
The line to check in took a very long time, and I really don’t understand why. Maybe it’s an island time sort of thing. Tzvi almost got in a fight with a man who was checking bags for people who had paid the $100 a person for premium service because he tried to check all the bags ahead of us after we had been waiting. There was no way. We sent our bags off and went upstairs to the gate. We had to wait a little while so we got a tuna sandwich, which wasn’t terrible, but wasn’t good. We also got Evian water that had been imported from Israel because it had Hebrew on it. I guess St. Maarten isn’t boycotting Israeli products.
I don’t even know how to describe the process of flying to St. Barth. First, they hearded all 19 of us (yes, the plane only had 19 seats) onto a staircase where we waited for about 15 minutes to go out onto the runway. Then we got on another bus and were driven to our plane. We kept passing all of these small planes, saying ‘oh, that must be it… no, that must be it…’ until finally we got to this tiny plane that looked like it was from the 1970s and was only slightly larger than the bus. Before we booked this trip my friend Liz described it as a lego plane flown by a Frenchman. I think that was a good description. This is definitely the smallest plane I’ve ever been on. There was no assigned seating (“sit anywhere”) so we got on and took the second row. We were basically in the cockpit – there was no door or any kind of separation. Also, there was no air conditioning and it was deathly hot. It was literally a tin can with wings and propellers. After a few minutes we taxied. Driving around the runway next to A320s and other normal sized planes was crazy. Thankfully we took off quickly, because we were all sweating.
Once we were in the air, the flight was about 10 minutes and we were grateful it wasn’t any longer than that. It was cool but kind of scary. The landing is interesting because I think St Barth has one of the shortest runways in the world. Basically you approach the island and angle sharply downward and then come into this tiny runway, skid to a halt and then make a sharp u-turn. We also must have flown just feet above the cars driving below. It was nuts.
We stepped off the plane and entered the airport, which is a single building with just a few rooms. We had our passports stamped and then moved into the next room where our luggage was waiting. Well, almost all of our luggage. Tzvi checked his airtags and found one of them was still in St Maarten. Uh oh.
We exited the airport and were met by a driver from the hotel. For this trip, we are staying at Rosewood Le Guanahani. From the first moment we were greeted with Rosewood service. Our driver led us to his van and gave us cold towels, mints, refreshing sprays and bottled water. He told us not to worry about the bags and that this happens all the time. He said when the bag comes in he’d send someone from the hotel to get it.
For those who don’t know, St. Barth is a tiny French island just south of St Maarten, but it’s a world away from St Maarten and other Caribbean islands like that. It doesn’t have Caribbean island vibes, and everyone who works there is young, attractive and French (like, from France). I don’t think we met anyone the whole time who said they were born on St Barth. As we would see over the coming days, it really was a lot more like being in the south of France than like being on a Caribbean island.
We pulled up to the lobby, which is indoors but also outdoors, which we would soon discover is how everything is in St Barth. At the lobby we met Auror (in English, Aurora, in British, one who hunts death eaters). We were seated outside and given cold water and a welcome drink that tasted coconutty. They also gave us a welcome pastry that had delicious apricot jam. She checked us in and then led us to our rooms, which are Ocean Cove rooms and are located near the beach with ocean views. All of the buildings have pastel colors, kinds of reminds me of Bermuda. So we’re in a purple house. The room is really pretty, but the only problem is there’s no bathtub.
We unpacked (well, everyone but Tzvi unpacked). Ironically, Tzvi had been the only one to pack a bathing suit in his backpack because he had been worried about this happening with his luggage.
We forgot to take room photos on Day 1. These were taken later in the trip (in case anyone thought we got our room with an unmade bed).
We headed down to the beach and got chairs facing the lagoon. The hotel actually has two beaches – one looking at the lagoon and one at the beach, but you can only really swim in the lagoon because the beach is too rocky. What’s crazy is that the lagoon side is pretty windy, but the beach side has no wind, and if you stand right in the middle you can actually feel where it switches. I should mention that the beach also had the main pool, main restaurant and bar. It’s very beautiful.
We laid out a bit but it was cloudy. We were starving so we ordered a “felafel chawarma” which was a felafel wrap with “chawarma” sauce. For some reason it also had guac and pico de gallo. It was actually delicious and came with fantastic crispy shoestring fries.
Eventually I left and went to the gym to work out. Tzvi came to meet me and swam in the spa pool. On his way he saw a turtle just walking along the path. Then we walked back to the room and got ready for Shabbos to start. By the time we got there, Tzvi’s luggage had arrived.
Shabbos started at 630, which is very early considering we’re on the same time zone as New York, but I guess we’re closer to the equator. We relaxed a bit, got ready for dinner, made kiddush on a small bottle of Kedem we brought with us, and then headed out.
the view from our patio
Dinner tonight was at the Beach House, which is the one restaurant here at the hotel. It’s not like a huge resort where there’s a ton of restaurants – there’s just the one where you get breakfast, lunch and dinner. I think that’s because there are so many restaurants on the island that people actually want to eat at, so they couldn’t support multiple restaurants at the hotel. It’s not like when we go to Mexico and need 5 restaurants in the hotel because we’re afraid to go outside the resort.
The restaurant was pretty empty. I should mention that it’s low season here – I guess high season is December to March – so the hotel is only at 65% capacity (and they said our hotel is more crowded than most on the island) and it’s just generally quieter. I should also mention that the restaurant is also indoor-outdoor. Like they have the ability to close the walls, but they don’t. We were next to an open wall, and there was a nice breeze, but also there was no air conditioning so it got pretty hot.
Our waiter tonight was Alessio. He had a very strong accent and we had some trouble understanding him. Turns out it was because he was Italian. We first received delicious bread, including a roll that had the outline of the shape of the island on it. To start we had this delicious fried hearts of palm cake that was phenomenal. For mains, I had tuna and everyone else had mahi. We also got truffle mashed potatoes that were disgustingly creamy but everyone else loved them. For dessert they had a very nice menu of desserts, plus a special dessert for “Independence Week” because I guess the French were on our side in the Revolutionary War, right? The special dessert was a “Brookie” (a brownie/cookie with vanilla ice cream) which I guess tells you how the French see Americans… We wanted to get that one, but it had peanuts, so we had floating islands instead, which was a merengue in the shape of St. Barth in a cream, and an apple tarte, which was good, but not that memorable.
After we finished eating we told Alessio that we weren’t able to sign the check because it’s the sabbath. He immediately said “oh, it’s Shabbat.” I guess they get a lot of Jews here. Then he went to the kitchen and came back with a Kosher menu, that had all kinds of meat dishes. We didn’t ask if they also had a mashgiach. The beef was around 150 euro, so we wouldn’t be ordering it anyway.
Dinner was really nice. Then we came back to the room and went to sleep. Good first day.
FIDF Staff Mission. Day 5.
Well, today it’s time to leave the Hilton. A bittersweet parting.
Anyway, I woke up around 7, got ready and tried to make sure all my stuff is packed. Odds I left things in the room are high. Ari (our COO and trip leader) had said that he didn’t want everyone showing up to the bus at 7:55 having to put their bags in because then we wouldn’t leave by 8, so I had my bags on the bus by 7:35. Pretty good, right? With the 25 minutes I had, I opted to go downstairs for breakfast today. The buffet was beautiful, as expected. Problem is, who’s actually hungry that early. I had some coffee and pastries, and then we were off.
Our first drive was to the North, but not that North, so it took an hour and change. The first stop of the day was at Havat Hashomer. This is a training base for men who need to go through a special type of basic training. It’s targeted for at-risk youth, the most challenging guys. Everyone can be a polished diamond. We heard from Liron, a Lieutenant Colonel who was very pregnant with her 3rd girl, and her oldest is barely 4. The idea behind the base is that the IDF is the army of the people. We know that in Israeli society, army service is a huge deal, so they are trying to give this opportunity to people who may not have been able to go to the army. For many of them, the army didn’t even want them to begin with and they asked to join. Others are told once they go through intake (which I discussed a few days ago) that they must begin their training here. These are guys from a variety of challenging backgrounds, low socioeconomic status, come from bad families, criminal records, lack education, etc. The key is to take their special talents and direct them to the right place. So she gave the example of a drug dealer – in his “work” he needs to be sneaky, smart, a salesman – all qualities that can be useful for a certain type of soldier.
The training here is 10-12 weeks, whereas regular IDF basic training is 3 weeks. They learn about responsibility and discipline. They help them choose their profession in the army and even help them after. What’s notable is that all of the head commanders are female. They think being around females make the guys less combative, and they are also better listeners. Their deputies can be men, but the head commanders are all female. It’s all about building self esteem through small things, building trust. Eighty percent of those who start here graduate from the program, and then 70% of those who graduate finish their army service. 2-3 percent to go elite units. There are 9 cycles each year of 150 soldiers each. We heard from a couple of soldiers. One was a professional soccer player who was told he needed to come here first. He only joined post October 7th. The other was from a Charedi family who fell in with the wrong crowd on the streets and wanted to pull his life together.
We ate lunch there, and this was really our first legitimate base lunch, though we definitely had more variety than the soldiers. But I’ll say, it was definitely army base food. No need to say more.
From there we drove about 45 minutes to the west bank to the Efraim Brigade and visited with the Panther Battalion. They set up so nicely and gave us all hats and keychains, and of course cake and drinks. Anyway, The West Bank is divided into 6 brigades, and each has an Area A city, so this one’s is Qalqilya, which is just steps from Netanya and is where the 2nd intifada started with the Pesach bombing. The Panther Battalion was established in June 2023 and is actually a co-ed Battalion. It was decided that this area needed a permanent Battalion, as opposed to Battalions that came in and out for a few months and then would switch. Having a Battalion that really knows the area well is more worth it.
We heard from the head of Operations in the Panther Battalion. Notable that she is from Gush Katif and was 9 when she was kicked out of her home. The Battalion had 4 months of training, then advanced training, and then urban training. When they started they had lots of attempted fence crossings, but now there are less because they know the Battalion is there. The violence has increased since October 7. People cut the fence, which has indicators but is not electric.
We heard from some of the soldiers there, a few lived in local settlements like Ariel. They showed us some of their gear and I got to try on a vest. It was heavy. And smelly. I gave them letters from HAFTR kids and they were genuinely surprised that people care so much. I told them all HAFTR kids learn is to love the IDF and Israel. I showed them a video HAFTR posted of kids just thanking chayalim. They were really surprised and touched by it. It was nice.
We saw their observation room, the same kind of room we saw yesterday at Nachal Oz that had been burned out. We weren’t allowed to bring our phones in but we literally watched the women just watching the computers. They have 4-hour shifts. This is a female only job because females have better focus and are more likely to notice a small detail change, like if a rock is somewhere one day that wasn’t there the previous day. The woman speaking to us said that some of the people there trained with the women who were in Nachal Oz and it was just random who was sent where. I asked one of them about how she felt hearing that the women of Nachal Oz were ignored when they gave warnings. She said it’s really hard and was really demoralizing, but you have to just pull yourself up and do your job even better.
We stopped at an observation point just to see the local settlements and Arab towns. She said there are Palestinians who just want to live in peace, and many that had work permits. After October 7th those have been severely limited. I asked how the trust is after we know that Gaza workers were some of the terrorists, and she said the trust is broken and it’s a really hard situation now. She thanked us for our work and obviously we thanked her for hers.
Next was on to Jerusalem!! We pulled up at the Nefesh B’Nefesh center, which is in Cinema City and right next to the Waffle Factory (you can imagine how depressing it was to bypass that restaurant). It’s the relatively new building which was gorgeous. We went into a room and got a presentation from the head of the Lone Soldiers at NBN. We had a subpar dinner there (why can’t they just give us some falafel and hummus?). Anyway, we were assigned to tables with lone soldiers. Our two were actually brothers in law. One was from NY and had gone to an Italian private school and then decided to go to Gush to learn. The other was from Portland. They married sisters. I also met a lone soldier who is the daughter of someone I worked with at JNF. Small world.
Then it was finally time to go to the hotel. Now, of course the Hilton Vista Level in Tel Aviv was nice, but you know what’s nicer? The Waldorf Astoria Jerusalem. We pulled up, I walked in the doors, and I felt like I was home. There was a beautiful spread, champagne, and our keys. They swept our luggage away. I don’t know, I mean the Hilton Vista level was really an amazing experience, but you can tell when you walk into a Waldorf that it is just another level of luxury. THIS is why the hotel is the destination for me, and I will die on this hill. The room had wine, pastries, and fruit. Of course, as we know, the bathtubs here are wonderful and the rooms are spacious. I was so happy.
I decided I needed a second dinner, so Sarah and I walked to Mamilla and sat outside at Café Rimon. The café was packed with Israelis, which is a nice contrast to any other time I’m there and all of the Americans are in town. On the flipside it’s depressing because people really aren’t visiting. Sarah got a Caesar with salmon and I got an Asian Noodle Stir fry with peanuts. We also both got Lotus shakes but I really didn’t like mine so I had to stop at Golda for ice cream, where I got White Chocolate Pretzel and Cookieman flavors. It was so delicious.
We got back to the hotel and joined some people hanging out in the lobby. Of course we ordered some tea because God forbid we not continue eating or drinking. Great day.