Israel. Summer 2022. Day 6. I'm Exhausted.
Last night wasn’t bad.
I took a bath, had my food, and sat outside for a while. It was nice to watch people walking and I also heard music from the First Station across the street. Around 10 I thought I should get in bed, but I picked up a book. Well, two hours later it was midnight and I decided to stop. Problem was, I couldn’t fall asleep. I don’t know when I ended up falling asleep, but next thing I knew I woke up and thought I might as well check the alarm clock and was shocked to find it was 10:17! I hopped out of bed and ran down to breakfast. Didn’t want to miss my last breakfast! I brought my book to breakfast so it wasn’t so lonely.
After breakfast I went to the pool. It was packed, but I managed to get a day bed. I noticed that they replaced some of the stupid uncomfortable chairs that are under the umbrellas with actual lounge chairs, but those were all full, so I sat on my day bed, read my book, and tried not to get sunburnt. I went in the pool a couple of times. It’s interesting that it really is mostly Israeli here. Maybe one or two American families, but that’s it. And that’s basically how I spent my day.
At one point I was able to switch from a bed to a lounge chair that had an umbrella. By 4 o’clock I had made it through two books and two magazines. I ate some carrots, challah, and hummus, and around 4:30 I left the pool to change because I was going to walk to the Kehats, our family friends. Well, I walked, but no one answered the door. I waited around for a while just in case they took a walk, but nothing. Ends up they were sleeping. Oh well.
I got back to hotel and actually went down to check out the Turkish spa. I walked in, got a towel, saw that there were people in the spa, and walked out. As I was walking out the lifeguard was like “yea, too many people.” I nodded. This was the same lifeguard who was watching The Notebook on his phone last trip.
The next couple of hours were kind of lonely, but I packed, showered, sat on the balcony, and soon shabbat was over! About 2 minutes before shabbat was over someone knocked at the door asking if I was checking out because I was supposed to at 8. I told him I had paid for late checkout and had until 9. Sheesh.
I checked out, met my driver Avner, and was off to the airport! Avner is the taxi driver who always sends a car that’s one size too small, so I was actually expecting him to show up with a motorcycle this time, but thankfully he came with his SUV that easily fit my very heavy bag.
The airport was crowded, but not packed. The lines were long, but not awful. When I got to the counter the woman told me “you know, your bag is very heavy.” I said yep, and handed over my credit card. Remember when I was underweight at only 44 pounds coming here? Well, I managed to pick up an extra 20 pounds of stuff.
The security line was longgggg, but it moved. I made it through with 10 minutes until boarding, or so I thought…
I was really looking forward to getting Aroma at the airport because I was starving, but it was closed! So, I had to get a generic tuna sandwich at a stand. It was sad. Then I went to the gate where I met Einav. She is now training to work at the gate (in addition to the check in counter). I told her this is where you get the worst of the complaints, so good luck.
Boarding time came and went. Nothing was happening because a Turkish Air flight was at our gate and wasn’t moving. Eventually they changed our gate and everyone had to move. Einav said it was like Yitziat Mitzrayim. Once we were at our new gate it was going to be a little while because they had to do everything again. At this point I saw someone who looked familiar. Her name is Samantha and she works in the JNF Philadelphia office. We had just been at the Northeast Retreat together. I said hello and we spoke a bit. You always find someone you know.
We finally got on the plane and I’m again in the bulkhead (this time courtesy of Einav who switched me from my regular economy plus seat to the bulkhead). My assigned seat was an aisle, but I asked a flight attendant if I could switch to a window that was empty. She said I could switch after takeoff. Yay! The guy in my new aisle though seemed very serious and not thrilled that I was there, but the middle was empty. Also, the armrests don’t go up so it’s not like he could have laid down. Right?
The flight was fine. I slept a bit but was up and down. I watched JLO’s new documentary Halftime which was pretty good.
Finally we landed! Getting back into the country was no problem AND I got my luggage! Thanks El Al for doing what you’re supposed to do. I hopped in an Uber and that’s it!
Great trip. Short trip. I’m exhausted.
Israel. Summer 2022. Day 5. Back Again, With More Bags.
Today was the best day.
It’s amazing what you can get done when you’re alone and don’t have to worry about anyone else’s schedules, meals, naps etc. Not to say I don’t want to, it was just nice to be totally on my own schedule.
Anyway, it was rough getting to sleep last night. I think the jetlag set in. I think when you fly to Israel during the day the jetlag is worse, but what do I know. I don’t think I fell asleep until close to 3. I had set my alarm for 9:30 “just in case” but thankfully I did because that’s what woke me up. Oh, unless you count the 6:30am butt dial from Tzvi. I got dressed and went to breakfast. It was just as I remembered… from 5 weeks ago. Guess what, it still takes forever to get your coffee.
After breakfast I ventured out. I took a taxi to the Kotel. I asked the driver to take me to Sha’ar Ashpot, the garbage gate, and he literally had never heard of it. Yes he was an Arab cab driver, but he’s a cab driver in Jerusalem. Also, on the way he told me he lives right outside the old city. He had to put it into Waze. He also told me that he was so tired and he had taken someone from the dead sea and hasn’t slept. I told him that sounds safe. Well, I made it to the Kotel and that’s what matters.
It wasn’t empty but it wasn’t packed. Not too many tour groups, but always a diverse array of visitors. From there I walked up to the Rova and headed to the Cardo to stop by and see Udi at Blue and White art Gallery. Luckily he was sitting outside his shop. I showed him a picture of the painting that we bought over Pesach framed and hung on the wall. He was pleased. I got an iced coffee from the Ne’eman there and then walked up and out.
Time for shopping at Mamilla! Well, that wasn’t the plan but it’s what happened. There is the cutest French kids store that had pajamas I was eyeing on Pesach so I bought them, and a few other dresses, and a matching pajama for me. Then I hit another kids store, and then Steve Madden. I don’t know, the Steve Madden here is so much more pleasant than the one at home. I met a mother and daughter who were visiting from Buffalo. The daughter is in college and spending 3 weeks at Hebrew U. I told her I did that when I was in college and she asked if it was fun. I was like, ‘sure… 15 years ago or whatever it was great… have a good time!’ Then I bought a pair of shoes (30 percent off). I almost bought a second pair because they had the shoes I love but they no longer carry in American stores, but I didn’t.
I continued my walk out of Mamilla and made my way up to Ben Yehuda. I stopped at the store called “Ethnics” where we bought a havadala set several years ago. This time I decided to buy the matching washing cup we’d been eyeing over Pesach but didn’t buy. I also bought a bunch of other gifts. The man said if I paid in cash he would give me 15 percent off, so I did. I walked up and down Ben Yehuda and realized I had been shopping nonstop and forgotten to eat, so I got a felafel from Moshiko. I stopped in Gaya to buy Tzvi some new metal puzzles and then was trying to decide if I should go back to the hotel to drop off stuff or head directly to Machane Yehuda. Well, God made the decision for me because at that moment one of my bags broke. So, I got a cab and went back to the hotel.
I dropped off my stuff, ate my felafel, and went back out to Machane Yehuda. The shuk was packed, as it always is on a Friday. I got some candy, typical dried fruit, and some spices from Oshrat. I also bought challah and some food for tonight. I’ve been trying to decide what to do about meals over shabbat. The thought of spending a ton of money for a shabbat meal where I’d be all alone seemed so sad, so I decided to just buy some stuff at the shuk. I got hummus, Moroccan carrots, schnitzel, and other fried good things. Also some rugelach. I was good to go!
From the shuk I walked back down to King George because I wanted to hit the bakery Gagou. They were basically closed because as I walked in the guy spilled a huge bucket of water on the floor to mop up. But I was able to buy a brioche and a lemon merengue tart. Then I walked down Ben Yehuda again because I wanted to see if I could get a coffee at Coffee Bean, but it was closed. I managed to get one at Katzefet, then got a cab and went back to the hotel. When I got back the security guard gave me a look like “oh, back with more bags?” I smiled and went in.
I didn’t have to get ready for Shabbat or anything so I decided now would be a good time to walk to visit my parents’ apartment. I had taken the key from my dad just in case, so off I went! The washing machine smells and there is milk in the fridge (that I wouldn’t’ throw out), but otherwise it looks good!
I walked home to the hotel, made some calls, and then it was Shabbat!
Great day.
Israel. Summer 2022. Day 4. Welcome Home.
I slept great last night.
I woke up around 7:40. I spoke to Tzvi before he went to sleep, then checked some emails, and finally got out of bed around 9:15. I went down for breakfast which was nice, except I’m pretty sure I gave them the wrong room number. I keep saying 658 instead of 628. Breakfast was nice, typical Israeli fare, but they had mini boxes of the crunch cereal I like! Never seen that before.
I hung around breakfast for a little and then went to the gym. The gym here is really cool. It has a ton a machines, free weights, mats, yoga blocks, bouncy balls, medicine balls, a workout studio and even a boxing ring! There’s also a very nice locker room. It was pretty crowded when I got there but not so much when I left.
I changed and went to sit by the pool for an hour and a half. It’s an interesting mix here, religious and non, all enjoying the rooftop pool.
My checkout was at 2, so around 1 I went back down, showered, packed and got dressed. I left my suitcase in a side room and went across the street to get Aroma for lunch. I got a tuna salad and an Iced Aroma. Delicious.
Then I went back and got a taxi to campus. The AMHSI campus is in Hod Hasharon, about 20 minutes from my hotel. I met Jen and we hung around the AMHSI offices. I got to say hi to some people I only see on Zoom and then Orit, the COO, took us on a little walking tour to see the updates on campus. It was actually pretty impressive. Jen and I also had to hang Israeli flag decorations in the main room which was something. It involved a large ladder which I avoided but spotted Jen. Then we had to change. The reason I came to campus is because there is this big event tonight being paid for by a big donor from Arizona.
The event was from 6-9. Basically this family was having a family reunion/muss alumni reunion/bar mitzvah celebration at Muss, and was bringing 80 people and then providing dinner for the other 200 students now on campus. It was very nice. It started with appetizers outside. The best thing was focaccia. Then there was a program where the people spoke. They announced that they were giving a multi-year gift to the new Zionist Village JNF is building in Be’er Sheva, and then announced that they were donating money to United Hatzalah and forming a partnership with AMHSI and Hatzalah. Now every AMHSI kids will get trained in CPR and visit the United Hatzalah headquarters in Jerusalem. It’s pretty cool. Then they brought out the main dinner. The kids got BBQ and the adults inside had Israeli salad, some meat, some burger patties and some chicken. I had some of the burger which I now regret because it wasn’t good and now I’m meat. For dessert they had a donut wall and some other apple thing. It was OK. Then the DJ started and the kids were dancing. I’d say having a DJed party on your second night of your summer program is pretty good. The problem was the DJ wasn’t playing music they knew. The HIS staff kept telling him to play American music because he was playing European House Music but the DJ was like “No, this is what people like, I was just in Belgium and its huge!” and she was like “ok…but these kids are American.” Anyway, it was still fun.
At 9 I got in a cab to Jerusalem! The trip was under an hour. We pulled up to the Orient and it felt like home. Fadi checked me in, the same guy who helped us get out of that horrendous side house over Pesach. I told him I remembered him because he helped me on Pesach. My room is great. It’s a corner on the 5th floor with a wraparound balcony and a view of the Old City.
I took a short walk to the Tachanah Rishonah, but I’m meat so I couldn’t get ice cream or anything. I did stumble on a large book fair though, which was nice, and I bought 3 kids books.
After that I came back here to write on the balcony while eating snacks I had in my bag. What a lovely night.
Israel. Summer 2022. Day 3. Please Don't Feed the Cats.
Well, we landed.
We decided that I would get off the plane first to go to the machines where you get your entry visas because there was no way the kids were going to figure that out on their own. Well, it was a mess but we managed. At least half of them were told to “see border agent” which made those lines even longer. Anyway, everyone got their entry visa and we walked down to passport control. They didn’t make us wait in any passport lines but just lined the kids up and looked at their entry visa. Then we went to baggage claim. My suitcase came out in under 2 minutes. The people whose luggage was lost obviously didn’t get their bags, but surprisingly no one else had issues. Once most people had their bags we started walking out where we were met by the AMHSI madrichim with signs. Hurray! I have no more responsibility for these children!
I waited for Jen to come out because she was making sure each kid got out and then we parted. She is taking the bus to campus and staying there two nights. I… am not. In my defense, when I was asked to do this trip I was told that there was absolutely no room on campus and I had to stay at a hotel. Poor me.
After I left Jen I went upstairs to departures to say hi to Einav. She was actually training a new person. She and I were talking and the trainee kept coming over to ask her questions. After that I took a cab to the hotel.
My cab driver was named Ofer and he was an interesting man. He basically gave me his whole life story during the ride. After the army he left Israel and spent time in Brooklyn, Manhattan, Los Angeles and South America. He said he worked as a salesman at electronics stores. Basically, he was Zohan (his words). He then went on to explain to me how they would scam people. They would tell Jews not to go to their stores, but would sell non-Jews $20 items for $20,000. And all of the closeout/going out of business stores were in on it together. “Someone would come in from Sweden, and you check their shoes and watch and you see they have money and then you sell them something for too much money, and as soon as they leave you tell the other stores, in case he wants to check the price in other stores. Then, a week later when he comes back and says you ‘rip me off’ and shows you the receipt, you say ‘that’s not our store,’ because we always give him the wrong receipts with the wrong address so he can’t prove it and you pretend like you don’t know them.” Of course this was all in the ‘80s. After that Ofer had a glatt kosher catering company and a frozen food line, which he sold and made a lot of money on right before Covid. His wife wanted to leave him so she took the house with the pool and the kids, and now he lives in a nice apartment in Herzliya with his 35 year old girlfriend. After dropping me at my hotel he was planning on going to the beach.
Anyway, I’m staying at the Publica, an Isrotel in Herziliya. For some reason there is also a Bentley dealership in the building. The hotel smells really good (I ended up buying a small diffuser of the scent). I checked in and headed to my room on the 6th floor. There are two workspaces on my floor with tables, coffee, drinks, and beer on tap. It’s cute. The room is nice with a cute bathroom, but a half shower door. You know my thoughts on that.
I was so tired that I took a nap. I think I got up around 1:30 or 2 and decided to venture out. Around the corner was a Roladin so I went to get an iced coffee. It was only mediocre. Then I decided to walk to the Marina. The concierge said it was a short walk, maybe 10 minutes, except it was more like 20 in the hot sun. Once I saw the Ritz Carlton in the distance I realized where I was. We stayed there in 2019 for a few nights. The Marina is the same. I went to the grocery store in the little mall to get some stuff. I don’t even know what meal I’m up to, it’s very confusing. After that I took a cab back to the hotel.
I decided to sit by the pool a little before getting ready for dinner. It was nice up there and I watched two girls doing an Instagram photo shoot.
I relaxed for a bit until I had to get ready to meet Jen for dinner. We decided she would come meet me at the Marina. We were supposed to meet at 5:45 but she ended up going to the wrong place, so I don’t think she got to me until 7. We ate dinner at a restaurant on the water called Kakao. I got a Caesar salad but wanted to take out the tomatoes and eggplant and add tuna. The waiter said he understood but then another guy came and was like “he didn’t understand.” Anyway, it was pretty good. The stray cats were in full force and then Jen fed one. I was like, ‘you know now they are ALL going to come.’ I don’t think she realized that cats are basically rats here. Well, they all showed up. One even hopped on a chair and sat with us. Gross.
At dinner I got the full rundown of what happened after I left the airport. Apparently they didn’t order enough busses! I’m not sure how that happens because all you have to do is literally count how many kids you have, and then order the appropriate amount of busses. Nope! So kids had to sit and wait at the airport. I can’t even imagine. Eventually they all made it and got split up into their dorms. Some were complaining they had to drag their suitcases up stairs. So would I. Anyway, I think they are all settled now.
After dinner we walked around a little. There was a white wine festival that looked cute, but it was 180 shekel and she doesn’t drink much, so we opted to forgo that experience. We did hit the SuperPharm though! Then I Ubered back to the hotel and she went back to campus. I watched the Mets give up a bunch of runs and basically passed out.
Good day.
Israel. Summer 2022. Day 2. Better Safe Than Sorry, I Say.
Well, I’m not sure what day it is, but I think it’s the end of Tuesday, and Wednesday hasn’t officially started because we haven’t landed yet. But, it’s been a day.
I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm at 6:40 am, got ready and went downstairs to meet Jennifer at 7:15. I may have left a Gourmet Glatt bag with a bar and an apple in the room, or I lost it somewhere else along the way. Oh well.
We grabbed coffee and an Uber and took the 6 minute drive to the airport. Our Uber driver had never heard of El Al before and was very confused. “KLM?” Well, we made it around 7:33. This was before any El Al personnel had even arrived, but some families were already there. At the airport we were met by Alex, Alicia, and Andrea, three of our Floridian colleagues. They were there to help get everyone their “swag” and assist with check in. There was also this guy from the Travel Agency who really was interesting, and he actually flew from NY for this, just the airport part! I think El Al people arrived around 8:30 and the check in process started.
From there things started to slowly spiral. First I couldn’t find my entry form, so I filled it out again, only to find both confirmations in my junk mail. The woman doing my security interview was in training so it took three times as long as it usually does and she kept going back to check with her supervisor. At least she now knows the tuition at AMHSI and that I am looking forward to the holidays of the 17th of Tammuz and Tisha Bav. At the actual counter I asked about moving my seat to an aisle, but the woman said nothing was available in the extra legroom seats. At that exact moment I heard the guy checking in Jennifer say that he could put her in an extra leg room aisle seat, so I actually yelled over and asked if there were more seats. He took my boarding pass and moved me to the middle next to her, but we were the bulkhead now.
We hung around for a while as the kids checked in. The Consul General of Miami arrived with Zohar (obviously). I should mention that the entire El Al staff knows Zohar and they kept asking where he was. We also met some guy who was the head of El Al in the airport and he said he would work on finding me an aisle seat. Apparently if there had been premium or business open he could have upgraded us but there was nothing open.
Jennifer and I decided to go through security at 10:40ish as boarding was supposed to start at 11. There were still kids that hadn’t checked in, but the rest of the team would deal with them. There was an Earl of Sandwich so I bought a sandwich (that I never actually ate) and then corralled the kids to start boarding. One kid cut the entire line and then was surprised when he saw I was looking at him. The back of his sweatpants also said “fuck you.” I’m sure he’s a gentle soul.
We all boarded. Then about a minute after they closed the doors a kid realized that he lost his medicine pouch. Well, can’t go back now! Not sure what they are going to do about that. We are 186 kids out of a total of like 205 seats. I feel terrible for everyone else.
The flight was scheduled for 12:00 but I don’t think we took off until closer to 1:00. The flight is 11 hours and 40 minutes from Miami to Tel Aviv. Painful.
These past 11 hours have been a blur. We didn’t sleep at all. We basically just had to be up and down telling the kids to sit down. It’s like some of them haven’t flown in their lives.
“I didn’t get a meal”
“Is the seatbelt sign going to go off?”
“I’m hungry.”
I watched that Jennifer Lopez – Owen Wilson movie, Marry Me, except I think I missed the last ten minutes so I don’t actually know if they ended up together. I also watched some Harry Potter.
At some point Jen got a message that there was a girl who was vomiting, so she got to deal with that. Now that we’re almost there we basically have to remind them to find their passports. God forbid someone leaves it on the plane and we have to spend extra time in the airport. I will say we already found out that six kids luggage didn’t make it on the plane, kind of like when we flew back from Israel in April. They said they’ll send it on the next flight, but they have to register with lost luggage which is just something else we have to do at the airport.
Jen is going up and down the aisles now and just found a condom on the floor. Better safe than sorry, I say!
Israel. Summer 2022. Day 1. A Real Miami Experience.
What is the most embarrassing experience I’ve ever had at the front desk of a hotel? Great question. I’d love to tell you.
Well, here we go. Another work trip. I wish all of us involved a lot of luck.
For those who don’t know, today I am flying to Miami so that tomorrow I can fly to Israel. Why am I not flying directly from New York to Israel? Because I have to escort 186 kids from Miami to Israel. Sounds like a party I don’t want to be invited to.
So, this morning I woke up and dropped the girls at school. Hallie went off without an issue and when she walked in I overheard her tell her Morah that her “mom is going to Israel for work!” At least someone is excited. Next was Madeleine. This week is “in-between camp” so it’s basically a new morah and kids she doesn’t know. I think there are couple from her old class, but it’s definitely a new mix. We actually got to walk into the JCC and bring her to the classroom (for the first time since Hallie was there in 2019)! She didn’t cry when we left, but she was sad.
We went back home, made breakfast, Pop Pop dropped off coffee, and then we were off! Well, not without two more trips back in the house for multiple items left behind (masks, a purse). I was sure I was forgetting more things though. I guess we’ll wait and see!
I got to the airport around 10:00 for an 11:15 flight. While some may say that’s late, it was more than enough time. Check in was good and security was quick. My luggage was only 44lbs, which only intensified my anxiety over forgetting things. It was about a mile walk to the gate, and then I waited. It was at that time that I realized I forgot my hair iron. I guess it’s curly hair for the next 6 days! Unless I buy a hair iron in Miami. But that would be ridiculous.
We finally boarded. I was in row 24 seat A, a window seat. I do enjoy a window seat, but the man in the middle was a large older man. I actually don’t know if he was awake or asleep the entire flight because I kept seeing him awake but also kept heard him snoring. The guy on the aisle was also a large older man. Basically this meant I was going nowhere. I made the mistake of drinking a seltzer, and for the last half hour of the flight I really had to pee, but there was no way out. I was flying American, which at least gets you to your destination (as opposed to Jet Blue) but the seats were so cramped and there’s no TV, so you connect to their inflight entertainment with your own device. That was fine, but what if you have kids that don’t have devices?? You also have to pay for wifi, which I didn’t because I figured a human being should be able to survive without internet for a few hours. Luckily, the flying time was 2 hours and 11 minutes. So short! I didn’t even get to finish Crazy Rich Asians (for the 50th time).
Anyway, after landing and another mile walk to baggage claim, I was off to the hotel. Oh man, stepping out of that airport was something. It is so hot and so humid it is hard to breath. How do people live here? The cab to the hotel was fine. The driver was very nice but I couldn’t understand anything he was saying. He kept talking and I was like “what? What?” Thankfully I was on the phone with Tzvi who could hear and understood. At one point he just yelled at me, “HE’S ASKING YOU IF YOU’RE HERE ON VACATION!” Si Senõr.
I am staying at the Miami Airport Marriot, 6 minutes from the airport. The room is nice, clean, and spacious. Bathroom is fine. After about a minute I realized I could hear the room next to me blasting their TV. That should be fun.
I did some work and then decided to go to the gym. In the middle of my workout two guys showed up. They would lift for about 30 seconds and then talk to each other for like 5 minutes. Over and over. Efficient. At this point I am regretting not bringing gym sneakers. I also didn’t bring any cardigans. That has nothing to do with gym sneakers, and I don’t know why I’d need a cardigan in this heat, but it’s just something else I forgot. Anyway, I got back, showered, and then met Jennifer for dinner. Jennifer is my colleague, based in Arizona, who is my co-chaperone for the flight tomorrow.
We got in an uber and headed to the “merrick shops.” We walked around a bit and then met Zohar for dinner at an Italian restaurant there. Zohar also works for JNF and is based in Florida (you may remember him from last year’s trip to Israel). Dinner was pretty good. We shared zucchini fries and I got salmon. Surprise, surprise. From there Zohar drove us to Wynwood where we walked around looking at the graffiti walls; the actually graffiti exhibit was closed, but it’s fine – I was there in January. Then we got Salt and Straw ice cream! Salt and Straw is the best ice cream and only recently came to the East Coast (Florida only); we usually get it when we go to LA. I tried this flavor that was Deviled Egg Custard with Smoked Black Tea. It was absolutely horrible, and I knew it would be. The server said this is not a flavor he would seek out. I ended up getting a cone with Snickerdoodle and Sea Salt Caramel. It was obviously delicious.
Jennifer wanted to stop at a supermarket to get special plantain chips you can only get here, so we ended up at Fresco y Mas, a local supermarket. I’ll tell you, it was no Publix. A real Miami experience. Finally we got dropped back at the hotel. I have about 8 bug bites, isn’t that great?
When I get back to the room I find my key doesn’t work. I figure it had been near my credit cards and must have gotten deactivated. So I go to the front desk and tell the person working there that my key isn’t working and I give him the key. He says, “This is a Four Seasons key, so it’s not going to work.” I literally have no words. I mumble something and say ‘Sorry, I guess I lost my key.’ I didn’t lose my key, I just grabbed an old key that was still in my bag for some reason from October. Anyway, I got a new key and hit a new level of shame. Thank you.
We have to be at the airport tomorrow at 7:30am. No comment. Buenos Noches.
Israel. Pesach 2022. Day 13. We’re Not Going Home… Not Really. Part 2.
Where were we?
We started the walk back from Ben Yehuda to the hotel. I got half a sandwich at Aroma and Tzvi got a slushy lemonade. We walked some more and I bought some Nestle cereal that you can’t buy in the US [Tzvi: probably because it tastes like carboard and no one wants to buy it] and some Tony’s Chocoloney bars that aren’t kosher in America. Hallie also got ices, which she later spilled on herself.
We walked until we got to the I Heart Jerusalem sign. Unfortunately Madeleine slept through it, but we got a nice photos with Hallie. Then Madeleine woke up and we took a cab back to the hotel.
At the hotel my dad dropped off another suitcase and we tried to finish our packing. We came to Israel with five suitcases for the four of us, and we’re leaving with six. And they’re all full. So somehow we acquired another 50 pounds of stuff on this trip, and that doesn’t include the heavy metal puzzles that Tzvi is carrying in his backpack.
We felt pretty ready to go so we went up to the pool and got in a last swim. Madeleine had so much fun in her floaties again. It was a little cool but really nice.
Then we went back to the room, showered, really finished packing, and got ready for dinner. We had to be out of the room by 6pm, so we left all of our stuff in the lobby and my dad came and picked us up in his rental car. We drove to Mamilla and had dinner at Roladin with a lovely view of the old city. Madeleine got spaghetti, which she somehow managed to burn her neck on, so that was fun. I had a tuna salad, which was ok; it was a little wet (too much dressing). Tzvi had a shuk salad with felafel balls that Hallie ate, and we had multiple slushy iced coffees.
After dinner my dad dropped us back at the hotel. He ran in to use the bathroom while we waited for reception to bring a bag for him to take back to his apartment. While I was standing waiting with the car the security guard came up to me and said “This isn’t a parking lot.” I said, “I know, we’re waiting for something from reception.” Then he just said ok and walked away. Love that Israeli hospitality.
We had ordered a van from Avner to take us to the airport. We figured this time he would definitely send a van that was big enough since we didn’t have my parents, but once again the van barely fit everything! It ended up that the driver had to put down the back row and Hallie had to sit in the front row. So in the front was the driver, Hallie and Tzvi. So that was very safe.
The drive to the airport was fine. We got there early because we wanted to try to deal with the seat situation. Our driver unloaded all of our stuff on the curb and drove off. Of course there were no carts left so Tzvi ran all over trying to find available carts. Finally he did, and we made it into the airport. When we walked in thankfully the lines weren’t as bad as we had heard they were the previous day. The first thing they asked was if you had an Israeli passport. We said we all had foreign, but Robyn had Israeli, so they told us to split up, but we said no way and they just said fine and sent us all on the Israeli line. That was definitely shorter, except when we got to the front they told us to wait and kept skipping to the people behind us, until finally they sent us to someone at the front of the foreign line.
Next was the line for check in, which was another half hour. It was so long that they were giving out water bottles and chocolate. When we were almost to the very front Einav arrived to start her shift and pulled us off the line and took us to do check in at her own check in counter. It was really cute because she took Hallie behind the counter and let Hallie put the bar code stickers on the luggage and then press the button to send the bags away. Hallie loved it but Madeleine was jealous. Hope all of our bags make it.
Einav walked us to security and put us on the priority/disability line, which really annoyed some of the people, but I don’t really care.
It was so late at that point. It was like 12 o’clock. We first checked out the Dan Lounge but it was gross, so we just sat at the gate. Finally it was time to board. They had told us once we board we’d see our seats, and they don’t seat kids under 12 alone, so don’t worry. We could see that a bunch of other families had this issue as well, so it just made no sense. Finally the time came and we scanned our tickets. They had moved Madeleine and I to the last row on the right in a window and middle, Tzvi and Hallie about ten rows up in an aisle middle, and Robyn one row behind them on an aisle. None of these were extra legroom (and they still had our $500).
As soon as we boarded we told the flight attendants the situation. There were clearly a lot of people with the same issue, and the flight attendants seemed like they hadn’t been prepped at all and had no idea what they were getting. They said they’d see what they could do. Tzvi got Hallie settled and then was running back and forth from his seat to my seat. The plane was 3-3-3 across, and Tzvi was on a left aisle, so he kept running to the back of the plane through the flight attendant area to see me, and then back around to his seat. Tzvi was in a great mood… [Tzvi: At one point I was standing in the aisle putting something in the overhead bin and a religious man was walking up the aisle and tried to push through and I just turned and blocked the aisle and said “you can’t say excuse me?” he said sorry and backed away.]
We got Madeleine and her car seat settled into the window seat and I sat down in the middle, and finally who came to sit next to me but a pregnant woman with a lap infant. And the lap infant must have been at least one and a half. So I had three people* next to me in a seat barely big enough for one person.
* According to the U.S. Supreme Court. See Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (draft opinion).
Thankfully, about an hour into the flight they started moving people around. The last two rows of the plane didn’t have any people, just a bunch of supplies, so they cleared one row and moved the pregnant lady and her husband and two kids into that row, and then they put Hallie next to me and Tzvi right across the aisle. Except, this meant that Tzvi now had an aisle with an empty middle next to him! So after all of this, I was in the back row of the plane flanked by my two children and Tzvi was sitting comfortably. And by the way, Robyn was also in an aisle with an empty seat next to her! Why did this happen? Well, of course I had to be next to Madeleine, and then Tzvi wanted to be near me, and this was the only way. So I’m glad he got to be close to me.
[Tzvi: I still can’t figure out if I did the right thing. I would have been perfectly happy to be ten rows up alone with Hallie, but I thought Steph wanted us closer and I thought she didn’t want to be stuck in a middle seat with that annoying pregnant lady who didn’t shut up during the entire first hour of the flight about the seat situation. I thought she wanted this. I guess I was mistaken. I’m sorry.]
Anyway, I didn’t get up for nine hours because Madeleine slept in the car seat for a while and then wanted out and I had to hold her, and Hallie was sleeping on me, and by the end I needed to pee so badly and my tushy was going numb. I thought I was going to get pressure sores. It was just crazy. Overall the flight was fine, but it was just ridiculous.
Finally we landed and got off the plane. We were the last people off and by the time we got to passport control there was a sign that said it was more than an hour wait. Thankfully we went through global entry, which had no wait at all. Madeleine doesn’t have global entry, but we just played dumb and they let us bring her through. Getting to baggage claim early wasn’t actually helpful though, because we waited until every single bag had come off to discover that one of our bags was never coming off. They told us there was a piece of luggage that was scanned in Tel Aviv, but they didn’t know where it was.
While we were waiting our driver was calling asking where we were and getting more and more annoyed. This is the same driver who had taken us to the airport and who we had prepaid for the round trip. Eventually he called and said he couldn’t wait anymore and had a $300 fare in Manhattan, so bye. Thanks.
Robyn spent a long time on the foreign passport line, which was barely moving, but by the time she was done we were still dealing with the lost luggage. Finally we left the airport and needed to get two Ubers, which maybe we should’ve just done in the first place.
What a trip. Despite all the craziness it was a fantastic trip and we’re so grateful to my parents for bringing us along.
Epilogue
The suitcase that was missing turned out to be the one with all of Tzvi’s clothes. A day later we were cleaning up dinner and a random number popped up on my phone. It was a man saying he had our bag and would be there in five minutes. So, all’s well that ends well.
Next year in Jerusalem!
Israel. Pesach 2022. Day 13. We’re Not Going Home… Not Really. Part 1.
Today was filled with ups and downs. There were certainly moments where we said ‘this is why people can’t stand this country’ and moments when we said ‘I cant believe we’re leaving this country.’
But let’s go back to the beginning and hash out every pleasant and unpleasant detail.
It all starts last night.
At around 10:15pm, I messaged my friend Einav (who you remember from day 1) to ask if she’d be working at the airport the next night. She said she’d be there, but that she had looked up our reservation and we should do our online check in immediately, because according to the reservation our seats were not together. We said that couldn’t be, because we had a booking confirmation from Joe Travel Agent saying he had paid $100 per seat to get us extra legroom seats 23 A, B, C, D and E. Nope. According to the system Hallie and Madeleine were sitting together in row 30, and the rest of us were scattered around the back of the plane in middle seats. You have to question to the capabilities of an airline that has a computer system that allows a 2 year old and a 6 year old to be seated together without any adults. It was crazy.
We tried to contact the travel agent but couldn’t get in touch. We tried to contact El Al but they were closed. Einav said she would talk to her supervisor, but there really wasn’t anything she could do at that point.
We were so stressed we just decided to eat our donut we had bought at Ne’eman at the mall and take a bath and try to get some sleep.
We woke up the next day bright and early. The woman from hatzolah came to the room to do the Covid test, except this was not a test. This was a swipe at the lower nostril. I mean, it was ridiculous. I think they Covid tested Tzvi’s mustache. Robyn looked at me and was like, ‘I don’t think she got inside my nose.’ Once she actually put the liquid into the tests she waited about 30 seconds (you’re supposed to wait 15 minutes) and then said ‘Negative!’ Not that I’m complaining – the point here is to be able to go home. I think we paid 1000 shekel for everyone, which is a lot, but I guess you get what you pay for…
Anyway, we were all thankful that we had negative tests and could fly home… in 16 hours. Once we finished the tests I tried to call El Al and spent a half hour on hold, before I finally got a live person who told me that several weeks ago they had switched the plane and they had sent an email to all of the passengers telling them that they needed to call immediately and rebook their seats. Apparently our email went to Joe Travel Agent, because when he made the reservation he put in his email address instead of ours, and he never called to rebook the seats. So even though we had paid $500 and they had kept that money, we weren’t getting seats (and yes, El Al did say that if we wanted a refund we could apply to get one). The El Al person told me that there was nothing he could do and no more seats anywhere on the plane and that we should just show up and they would work it out, because El Al has a policy of not seating children under 12 alone, but they couldn’t guarantee anything. What does that even mean.
After we received this great news we went for our last breakfast. I should say the hotel is great, and the food is great, but the food service really isn’t. A lot of them just aren’t that quick and don’t seem to know what they’re doing. Not sure if we ever wrote about this but at one point during the trip we asked one woman, in Hebrew, if we could get water, and her response was “I don’t speak English.” There was another waiter who we kept having at meals but always seemed very confused. My parents wanted to tip him so they had Tzvi give him and envelope of cash, and when he gave it to him the waiter didn’t understand. He kept asking what it was. I don’t think anyone has ever tipped him before. Anyway, this morning I ordered a chocolate milk for Hallie that just never came, and then after 20 minutes they brought me a hot chocolate, and I was just like, “No.” Whatever, we got it eventually. It was fine. We enjoyed the last breakfast.
[Tzvi: I did not enjoy the last breakfast. I was too stressed to enjoy the last breakfast, and that is something I will never ever forget. My 12th breakfast of the trip was stolen from me by El Al, and for that reason I will never fly them again. Until the next time I need to go to Israel.]
We took a cab to Machane Yehuda where we bought a bunch of dried fruit at Rosemary and a bunch of spices and onion soup mix at the spice store that Peas Love and Carrots tells you to go to. Basically you walk in and ask for onion soup mix, and she says “Peas Love and Carrots!” At both Rosemary and the spice store Tzvi had them weigh what we bought and it came out to about 10 pounds total. Not sure how that’s getting home.
Then we walked to this place near the shuk that Tzvi wanted to go for lunch. I was so nauseous from last night that I couldn’t even think of eating more meat, but Tzvi can describe his sandwich.
[Tzvi: The restaurant was called Aka and I had seen Michael Solomonov (of Philly/Zahav fame) post about it on Instagram. It was kind of a hole in the wall, and had a mural of Kim Cattrall crossing the street outside. The menu was all in Hebrew and when I asked for an English menu the kid behind the counter, who was clearly American, said they didn’t have an English menu but he’d explain it to me. I ended up ordering the goose leg sandwich. It was quite a process to watch. They put so much care into making this one sandwich. First they sliced a piece of ciabatta bread and basically fried it on the griddle in goose fat. Then they spread a garlic almond paste on one side and a salsa verde on the other. That was topped with roasted purple cabbage, radishes, pickled onions and arugula. Finally he pulled an entire goose leg and thigh out of a vat of liquid goose fat in which the goose had been confited (is that a word? It was goose confit – what’s the past tense of that?) and put that on the griddle to crisp up a little. Then he pulled all of the meat off the bones and loaded the shredded goose meat onto the sandwich. By the end of this I was salivating.]
While Tzvi waited for his sandwich we hopped on the light rail and road down to Ben Yehuda Street, where we walked to Pizza Hut and got pizza for the girls.
[Tzvi: I was surprised to find that not only had Steph and the girls not waited for me, they had actually taken a train and were now very far away. Actually, it ended up not being that far away because I walked it in less than 15 minutes. While the girls ate pizza, I ate my sandwich, and I have to say, this may have been the best sandwich I have ever had. It was so perfectly salty and crispy and just a bomb of different flavors. Well done.]
When they were done eating, Robyn got the girls little bouncy balls from a gumball machine. Madeleine kept throwing hers into the street and Tzvi kept going after it. Everyone was happy. Everything was great. And then she threw it too far and it actually went into the street and started bouncing down the street (which was a hill). Tzvi carried Madeleine and ran after it, but it just kept bouncing and by the time they made it to the bottom of the hill it was gone.
A sign of things to come?